Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
there is glitter all over my balls
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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