well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
