batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
