it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
