So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
