So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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