things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
