Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
