Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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