Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
