i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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