I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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