do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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