so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
