everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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