I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
