Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
