Only a mothe r could love this liver
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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