You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
