I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
