Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
