Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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