last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
