Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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