are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
