He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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