Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
