I need help removing her.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
