I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
