Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
high people should be assigned attendants
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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