Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
