he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
