Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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