If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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