So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
