so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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