Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
