D3 body, D1 cock
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
