69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
