she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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