Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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