Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
