i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you had me at cake vodka
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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