This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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