I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love black thongs
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The power of my boobs compel you
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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