Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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