So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
