he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
