Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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