i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
